hope in my eyes.

 

Sitting here in Starbucks waiting for a meeting to start.

 

Thinking about all of the different dynamics here at "my" starbucks. Across the room is the table of pastors....and across from them is my pastor meeting with a group of men who just got out of prison. Kitty corner from their table is an advertising rep with his clients...showing them a new pitch. Right next to me is a group of older men, talking about something that is making them laugh.

 

So many different groups. So many different stories.

 

And at my table? I have my own story. A story of a hot mess girl... who loves Jesus, her husband, her children...her job. I wonder what people think about me when they see me in here almost every morning... on my computer or reading bible, journaling and praying. I wonder what they see in my eyes.

 

Just like the table of men who just got out of prison...they all look so hopeful. They all have hope in their eyes. You would think that they look defeated...but they dont. They look renewed.

 

I want to look renewed. I want people to see hope in my eyes. I want people to see Jesus in me. Last week an older man came up to me when I was about to leave and said "are you done here with this table" I smiled and said "yes...but there was room if you wanted to come and sit earlier!" (it was a really big table and I was set up in the corner of it) He said "well it looked like you were studying hard, so I didnt want to interrupt you". I had been reading my bible and journaling...I wanted to tell him that I wasnt cramming for a test or studying for a final...I was getting my life support for the day.

 

 Lately things have been super hard in the Lawless house. Trials and challenges out the WAZOO...but I just keep drawing near to God. And He keeps holding me tighter and tighter. His love is what keeps me going. His promises are what make me breathe. I am just like those ex prisoners.

 

This video is long...its 40 minutes...but its worth the watch..I promise. Its just a glimpse into HOW big and powerful God is. The God who gives hope to the ex prisoners and the chubby red headed girl sitting at starbucks.