Tuesday, October 30, 2012

SOOOO Insecure.


noun, plural in·se·cu·ri·ties.
lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt: He is plagued by insecurity.
the quality or state of being insecure; instability: the insecurity of her financial position.
something insecure: the many insecurities of life.

2. precariousness, shakiness, vulnerability.

Ok, now that we have the English lesson taken care of...lets talk about this word. Insecurity. Even hearing this word makes me kinda slump in my chair and hang my head because I have SO many of insecurities. All of the women that I know have something that makes them feel insecure. Something that makes them feel unworthy...or not good enough.
When I was younger I was made fun of because of my weight...so I developed an eating disorder...then when I was thinner....I didn't want people to know that I threw up everything I ate, so I would lie about other things to try and draw attention away from my eating habits. The whole thing centered around my body insecurities.
When I walk into a room, I am always thinking to myself...ok...am I the biggest person here? Will people like me? Am I dressed ok? Will I fit in? If I have to talk, will I sound stupid? Its a constant stream of thoughts in my mind. I sweat bucket loads, I turn red...and turn into a big ol hot mess.
And its a constant stream in alot of women's minds. You know...how we flip off the light when its time for some smoochy smooch with the hubs...how we stress about what we will wear to an event....how we check and double check our makeup before we get our of our car. It effects our relationships, our jobs...our families...But my question is...WHY? Why are we letting the world make us so insecure? Why are we not rejoicing in the things that make us...us?
I just came home from an amazing weekend...it was spent at a christian retreat with some of my favorite people in the whole world. My husband got to come with me and spend the whole weekend there too. He made a comment when we got home that made me smile...he said "babe...everyone loves you so much" when I asked him what he meant he said " you make people smile...and everyone loves to be around you". It was super sweet for him to say that, but all I kept thinking was things like; that cant be true, not everyone loves me, I am sure I annoyed people....and on and on...stupid thoughts about how I must have done something wrong, and how there was no way that everyone loves me. Well that's a bunch of crapola. It makes me mad that I let Satan even speak into my mind like that.
I have no reason to be insecure. I am a child of God...I am created in HIS image...I am loyal, I am kind, I am funny, I am smart....I am pretty....but most of all.....I am WHO HE MADE ME TO BE. And He sure as heck didn't make me with all of these silly insecurities. The world gave me those.
And YOU...my beautiful readers...YOU are beautiful...YOU are smart, YOU are worthy, YOU are funny...AND MOST OF ALL...you are made in HIS image. Get rid of those insecurities. Get rid of the crap that makes you second guess yourself.
No more sweating like a wilderbeast when I walk into a room...no more wondering if I will fit in....no more wondering if I will sound stupid. No more hot mess.
Just me. 

Cara box!!!!

The greatest thing since leopard print flats happened this month! Kaitlyn over at wifessionals started hosting a monthly blog swap called  The Cara Box!!!
My partner was the lovely Falen from Upward Not Inward She is AMAZING! She loves Jesus, and her blog is pretty awesome! She sent me the sweetest box!
 The theme for this month was "the best of fall"...included in my box: Pumpkin spice almonds (holy sweet mercy, yum!) A pumpkin spice candle, some awesome toe socks ( I also bought these same socks for a gift for a friend!) white chocolate candy corn m&ms, and some cute fall stationary.
 I loved my package...and she is just SO sweet! If you want to see what I sent her...you can check it out here!
I am SO excited to see what the theme is for next month! If you want to be a part of the Cara Box swap, you can! Just go here!
Happy Monday lovelies!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Is it friday yet?

My brain is about to explode with random thoughts...so thats what you get today my friends. Heathers random thoughts. You're welcome.
I am SO excited for this weekend...my 16 year old step daughter is going on a 4 day church retreat and I cannot wait to see what God will do for her this weekend.
Its SUPER cold in my office..the furnace went out in our building. they dont have a repair date yet. AND its suppose to snow tomorrow. awesome sauce.
I woke up late this morning, and put half my makeup on while I was stopped at stop lights, and in the drive through line at starbucks.
I may or may not have ordered 2 CASES of vanilla and banana moon pies when I was at cracker barrell in TN. We dont have cracker barrells OR moon pies here in idaho. Its a travesty.
They may or may not have come yesterday....and I might have eaten 3 of them last night. Dont judge. If you've ever had a moon pie, you know you would have done the same thing.
I think I need an iPAD mini...if someone would like to buy me one, I will make you my BFF forever. AND I will give you a BIG hug. I give great hugs.
Do birds have teeth? Or just beaks? How do they chew their food? Do they just peck at it and swallow it?
I just got my first Love club box yesterday and I am in love with this service. IN LOVE. Get on the waitlist. NOW.
I think now I need to sign up for Pop Sugar
I am addicted to reality TV. I am kinda sad that the RHONJ is over. I love watching the crazy come out.
I am also sad that Jef and Emily broke up. If you dont know what I am talking about you must have a life. you must not be an addict like me.
I think thats it for the randomness today friends. Have a terrific tuesday.
Peace Out.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

The wilderbeast.

I am laying here in bed trying to sleep..and I can't...because the mister is snoring like a wilderbeast. Wait...do wilderbeasts snore?
Anyways...as I listen to him snore, he has his leg wrapped around my body and when he breathes in I kinda feel like hes gonna crush me, like a boa constrictor. Plus I'm sweating like a wilderbeast because hes practically on TOP of me. Irritated.

But then I think....as much as this annoys me I am so incredibly thankful. Thankful for the snoring, thankful for the smothering, thankful for Him. For this amazing, God fearing, kind, loving man that I get to call mine. I am thankful for his dirty clothes on the floor, for his shaving cream on the sink and for his shoes always right in the way of where I need to walk. All those things are reminders of him and of how lucky I am to have him.
He is the love of my life, and I wouldn't trade this snoring wilderbeast for nuthin. He is sooo handsome, and he loves me he even loves all my crazy. :)

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Happy Thursday!

It doesnt matter what mood you are in...this will make you smile!
Happy Thursday kittens! XOXO

Monday, October 15, 2012

My love language!

My love language is gifts...I just LOVE to give people gifts. But I also love to receive them. My husband can come home with a coffee for me, and I swoon over it! My mom gave the BEST gifts...she always knew the perfect thing to make someone feel so special. Since she went to be with Jesus three years ago, there aren't very many people in my life who "speak my love language".  You can read more about the 5 love languages Here . But here is a list of the 5 languages:
Words of Affirmation -
Quality Time-
Receiving Gifts -
Acts of Service-
Physical Touch-
SO since my language is gifts I have been SUPER stoked to learn about "blog swaps!" You get to send a special something to another blogger, and they send you something too! Its perfect! Lately I have signed up for quite a few swaps, and my hubby keeps asking who is sending all these packages to me...I just tell him its strangers who love me! :)
I did a scarf and polish swap from Jessica and Ashlee
I was paired with Cole from www.myweinertales.com and she sent me these FABULOUS scarves...an awesome cowl, and a pretty sweet long cotton scarf. I just LOVE both of them. She also sent me a gorgeous blue Nicole polish called "respect the world" and some funky Sally Hansen nail decals that match the red in the cowl perfectly! She threw in a WHOLE box of snickers miniatures, which my hubby promptly stole and ate ALL of! Thanks Cole, I just LOVE everything!!
I did another scarf swap, it was a scarf and scripture swap hosted by Viv over at Big K Fam...which was really awesome.
I was paired with Bernadette from Barefoot Hippie Girl! She sent me the most amazing zebra print scarf from Target! I LOVE it! She mailed the scripture part of the swap separately, and it hasn't come yet...so I cant wait to see what her favorite scripture is! But I just adore the scarf!
And the last swap that I did last month was a coffee mug swap! It was hosted by Steph over at Midnight Hershey
My partner was Nicole at Heartbeat Companies she sent me the sweetest package with a cool red mug, a sweet letter, some books, a bath poofie, and some highlighters! She also sent me a copy of her magazine! Check it out www.heartbeatmag.com
So as you can see, my love language was definitely spoken this month! Thanks ladies for hosting fabulous swaps, and thanks ladies for the AWESOME swap goodies!

I speak for the weak.

I debated for a long time about writing this post because I didn't want to offend anyone....or bring out the crazy in anyone. But I feel like God is saying "speak" so here goes.
I love my job. The job that I have now is the best.job.ever. I am never gonna get rich...I am never gonna make the Forbes list...but I am going to make a difference.
I work at Life Choices Clinic. I am the Development Specialist. Our goal is to save babies from abortion, Help young moms, and break destructive cycles. We specialize in unplanned or crisis pregnancy solutions. No judgement, no one telling women what to decide. There's no hype, no politics. We don't make money off of any decisions they. We help with FREE quality medical pregnancy tests. Our staff explains every option you have if you are really pregnant. But, we do not provide or refer for abortions.
Its not about being pro life or pro choice. Its about love and compassion. Its about making the RIGHT choice. Its about replacing Lies, Death and Deception with truth, hope and love.
Its about the 16 year old girl who comes through our doors SO scared out of her mind. She thinks that her parents are going to kill her because she is pregnant. We help her. We give her hope.  
Its about the single mom who has 3 young kids, and no money. She takes a test after a one night stand and sees two pink lines. She falls apart into earth shaking sobs because she has NO CLUE what to do. We help her. we give her hope.
We teach young moms to be how to be good moms...how to break cycles. How to discipline with love and logic instead of abuse and destructive behavior. We provide resources for young families and moms who don't have money for diapers or formula. We teach dads who to stand up for their families and be great men.
 Each year,750,000 women between 15-19 become pregnant, and don't know what to do. They have no one to talk to, but lots of people talking AT them and FOR them. When women walk through the doors of our center they can breathe easier, they can talk...they can speak their mind, and their heart. Without judgement. We are a sounding board.

Since 1973 there has been over 54,559,615 abortions in the US. A lot of those women chose that path because they felt like they had no other choice. This breaks my heart. 
It is my passion to speak for the weak...but I am not just talking about those little babies inside their momma's tummy. I am talking about the weak hearts, the burdened hearts. The women who are so alone and so scared that they think aborting their baby is the only way out of their crisis situation. They need to feel loved, and valued. They also need to know how much Jesus loves them. And how He has an AMAZING plan for their life. That the test they just took that reveals a life growing inside of them is NOT the end, but in fact, a beginning.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Nash Vegas. In love.

I have spent the last week in Nashville, Tennessee...and I fell in love! We stayed at the Gaylord Opryland hotel...that place is HUGE!!! Seriously...you need gps to get around! It is gorgeous! We were there for a work conference, and it was one of the best " conferences" that i have ever been to. I work for a nonprofit ministry where we help young women who find themselves in a crisis pregnancy situation make the right choice. We also get to speak love into their lives....and its amazing. God spoke to me in huge ways this week.

I thought I would share a few pics with ya'll...

1. Inside our hotel...amazeballs
2. This fabulous restaurant called "pucketts" in downtown. We had the best food Ever. And live music!
3. An awesome sign from the conference
4. This is what they give you when you ask for a little butter. Its a HALF a stick!! Mmm mmm good...
5. Ice cream!
6. Co workers...and friends :)
7. Clowns driving down the street in downtown..
8. Fried green tomatoes
9. Rex.velvet.amazingness.thank you sweet baby Jesus.
10. Amen.

I will share more with ya'll later...the flight attendants are giving me the "turn off your electronic device before i kill you" look.

Happy Sunday!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Tell them you love them.

October is always a hard month for me...October 3rd is the day that my mom went to Heaven, three years ago. Her death was very unexpected...and I was travelling, so I heard that she had passed away when I was on an airplane 1,000 miles from home. It was horrible.

My mom was one of my best friends...and she was amazing. After she died, it made me realize how precious time is. And, how you need to tell the people that you love just how much you love them. All the time. Spend time with them....as much time as you can. When we made the choice to move in with my Dad after she died, it was hard at first...but now I realize just how lucky I am to be able to spend every day with him. And how I would give anything to have realized how precious that time was before my mom died.

Yesterday, I read that one of the sweet bloggers that I have been following for years Julee...lost her husband Matt saturday night. He died in a car accident. They have a little girl named Preslee. I cannot even imagine what Julee is going through, but I do know that God is with her. Please pray for her, and for her daughter.

Hearing the news of Matt's tragic passing, made me realize again that never know what tomorrow will bring. You never know when that hug will be the last, or when you say I love you for the last time. Treasure the time that God has given you. Love the family that God has blessed you with. Even when they bug the heck out of you, even when your husband annoys you....when your kids are on your last nerve...when you sister irritates you...tell them you love them. Hug their neck. Treasure today.

Monday, October 1, 2012


Today I am Thankful.

  • thankful for my husband who is super hot. (and God fearing and just plain awesome)
  • thankful for my Dad...who is the most amazing man I've ever known
  • thankful for my daughter, who I love to the moon and back.
  • thankful for my 3 awesome step kids, who I get to love and watch turn into amazing people
  • thankful for my job where I get to save babies, help moms and break cycles
  • thankful for my church. God is good and He is alive and kicking at my church!
  • thankful for my Jesus.
  • thankful for HUGE handbags..you know the kind that knock over store displays, when they are hanging off your arm
  • thankful for money to pay bills and buy crap I dont need 
  • thankful for my friends
  • thankful for veggie breakfast sandwiches from Starbucks
  • thankful for my family (especially my cousins and my aunts)
  • thankful for my struggles with my weight (because they have drawn me closer to God)
  • thankful for candles...lots and lots of yummy smelly candles
  • thankful for JOY
  • thankful for anything that has a butterfly on it
  • thankful for tears
  • thankful for bright colors and zebra print
  • thankful for Birchbox and the love club
  • thankful for a chance to get away with my husband at weekend to remember
  • thankful for YOU...because you read this.