Ok so you have read all about how I hate to be told that I have a pretty face here
and here . But I havent actually told you guys how much I struggle with my weight. Well, maybe I have.
But at this point in my life I am the heaviest I have EVER been. I am ashamed to say that I weigh 277 pounds. (my own husband doesnt know how much I weigh) thats almost THREE HUNDRED pounds. thats 2 people who weight 150 pounds. I feel disgusted with myself. I am 40 pounds heavier then when I gave birth my daughter almost 9 years ago. I am 100 pounds heavier then when I got pregnant with her. I cannot believe that I let myself get this fat. As I write this tears are streaming down my face and I feel like I am going throw up.
I decided last week that I am over it. I am done with the fad diets, the weight loss gadgets and the things that I have done to lose weight that have REALLY harmed my body (being bulimic for 2 years).
I started back at the gym, and am trying to eat right. It just feels different this time...it doesnt feel like I am going to give up. I feel stronger. I feel like I know I can do it.
But its hard. Last night when I came home..it was about 9pm...I had been to work, then to the gym, then to bible study..then home. I was exhausted. I had eaten my veggies and my protein, but I was STARVING, my body was SO SORE, and I was SO crabby. I burst into tears and told the mister how disgusting I felt. How I was SO mad at myself for getting this fat. He just held me in his arms and said these words " You are beautiful, and I am SO proud of you."
That was all I needed to hear. I am going to do it this time. I am going to reach my goal of 170 pounds. Thats 107 pounds that I need to lose.
The reason I am writing this on here is because I am going to need support. I am not turning my blog into a weight loss blog...but maybe I can encourage someone else...and hopefully someone can encourage me. I know that this journey will be hard. But I know that it will be worth it.
Here we go.